The Birth of Gilbert, Part 3/3 - Twenty-Dollar Bill People

Sometimes, oftentimes, birth takes. . .a while.

No surprise there, right?

There can be A LOT of waiting.

During that waiting, usually while the birthing person is resting, I converse with the partners and/or support people in the room. For a partner who cares immensely about the birthing person’s health and safety, having someone other than the person in labor to off-load thoughts to can be useful in relieving both boredom and anxiety.

So, while Pete was resting and we were all waiting for baby Gilbert to make their appearance, Cal and I chatted. One conversation in particular stuck in my head.

Cal explained their theory of Twenty-Dollar Bill People and Five-Dollar Bill People.

Fingers crossed I relay this accurately, but I also might embellish with my interpretation.

Some people live their lives handing out twenty-dollar bills. They have twenty dollars and they give all twenty dollars. They know who they are and share their authentic selves with others. They say the hard thing. They say “I don’t know” when they don’t know. They have huge hearts and are unapologetic about the love they give and receive.

Other folks live their lives handing out five-dollar bills. They share a little, but not all, of themselves. They stay surface, not daring to go deep. Maybe because they are scared people won’t accept their whole selves. Maybe someone once taught them that who they were was shameful. Maybe they don’t even realize that you can live a life giving out twenty-dollar bills.

But the most interesting part was when Cal stated that it’s not that the latter group is giving five-dollar bills and keeping the rest.

It’s that they only have five-dollar bills to give.

Cal said they prefer to let the twenty-dollar bill people into their life.

I totally agree.

Here are Pete and Cal giving all of their twenty-dollar bills to each other, to baby Gilbert and to the universe. More pictures from their birth can be found in Part 1 and Part 2.

P.S. A subset of images from the Birth of Gilbert won a Family Story Award from the international documentary photography organization This is Reportage. (Link to https://thisisreportagefamily.com/collection/collection-twenty-eight/) Thanks to Pete and Cal for allowing me to share their story.